What should I look for in a couples therapist?
Do your research. Review online directories, such as Being Seen, to compare different therapists in your area and search by specialties. Check out the therapist’s website, paying special attention to see if their message resonates with you.
Many therapists offer services to couples; however, not all have completed their education and training in couples issues. Ask if they have had courses in couples therapy, or if they have received supervision from someone who was an experienced couples therapist.
Looking for the type of license that a potential therapist holds can be important. Having a license as a Marriage and Family Therapist (LMFT) indicates that the practitioner has completed coursework specific to couples and understands how to effectively work with the delicate nature of intimate partner relationships.
Look for additional trainings and certifications that the therapist has completed, paying close attention to those trainings and certifications that are specific to the couple relationship and are founded on research.
And last, but certainly not least, you should feel comfortable with the therapist. Research indicates that the most important factor contributing to the success of therapy is the relationship between the therapist and their clients. This means that the relationship you have with your therapist is more important than the therapists’ education and training, more important than the model of therapy the therapist uses, and even more important than the years of experience of the therapist.
Most therapists will offer an initial phone consultation. Take advantage of this opportunity to connect with potential therapists. You should be able to determine if you would feel comfortable working with the therapist within the first few minutes of the conversation.
What are your hours?
Saturdays 10:00am – 4:00pm
Mondays 10:00am – 7:00pm
Where are you located?
Downtown Asheville in the historic Flatiron Building
Address: 20 Battery Park Avenue, Suite 503, Asheville, North Carolina 28801
Parking: Wall Street Parking Garage
How do I get started?
Email me at email@example.com to schedule a FREE 15 minute phone consultation to determine if we are a good fit.
This phone conversation will give us a chance to interview each other – but not in the anxiety provoking interview way. This will be more of a getting-to-know you talk. I want to ensure that you are getting exactly what you need for your relationship.
It may turn out that our conversation leads to us scheduling your first appointment with me. Or I may know of a trusted colleague that has more experience in your area of need and provide you with a recommendation. Or I may be full, in which case I will provide you with referrals to some of those trusted colleagues I just mentioned. Or you may not feel a connection with me or my approach and wish to continue on your search.
Please note that as a therapist most of my days are spent having uninterrupted time with clients; therefore, I am not always immediately available.
*Note that text and email are not secure methods of communication. Please reserve text and email communication for scheduling a time for consultation only. We can discuss the details of your particular situation during our phone consultation.
Do you provide premarital counseling?
I sure do! Premarital Enrichment is my specialty. I love helping newly engaged couples build a strong foundation for relationship success. I am a Certified Facilitator of PREPARE/ENRICH, the #1 premarital assessment.
I offer two premarital packages available to best meet your needs. To find out more about premarital counseling and to check out the package options, click here.
Do you accept insurance?
I do not accept insurance. Premarital counseling is not covered by insurance. Additionally, couples therapy in its pure form – which is what I practice – is not covered by insurance. The purpose of insurance is for the diagnosis and treatment of a mental illness. Insurance companies do not recognize relationship concerns as a mental illness; therefore, my relationship therapy services are not reimbursable.
Insurance companies get to decide how many sessions you are allowed to see me and they dictate the services that I provide. Insurance companies also require a diagnosis, which becomes part of your permanent medical record. A diagnosis on your record can disqualify you from certain career paths and cause you to be denied life insurance.
Having a private pay therapist means that you will have more control over your treatment. I operate a diagnosis-free practice, which means that you will not receive a mental health diagnosis and your session notes will not be submitted to an outside third party. We will be able to freely work together in a way that honors your unique situation and I can tailor my approach to best fit your needs.
What is the investment?
Premarital Couseling – Classic Package – 6 sessions – $900
Premarital Counseling – Premium Package – 8 sessions – $1,200
Couples Therapy Session (Intake & Assessment) – 90 minutes – $210
Couples Therapy Session – 90 minutes – $180
Couples Therapy Session (Intake & Assessment) – 60 minutes – $150
Couples Therapy Session – 60 minutes – $120
Is it worth the cost?
Premarital counseling and couples therapy services are an investment in your relationship. How important is it to you to have a healthy relationship with your partner? What is it worth to you?
Many couples decide against premarital counseling. There are many reasons for this. They may not feel as though they need it, or they may have trouble fitting it into their already busy schedule. Participating in premarital education can support you in building a strong foundation for your marriage and prevent the common pitfalls that long-term couples often face.
Think of it this way. You may save up a few thousand dollars to go on an awesome vacation with your partner. Sure, it’s a beautiful place, you have some delicious meals, and your hotel is quite nice. But if your relationship is suffering, your vacation may not be all that you dreamed it would be. Just because you are on vacation does not mean that the negativity and distance within your relationship stays at home.
Another way of looking at your investment in couples therapy is asking yourself if the success and quality of your most significant relationship is as important as your sofa, or the upgraded package on your car – because the cost is about the same.
Additionally, a bad relationship can have negative impacts on both your health and your wallet. Toxic relationships have been shown to shorten your lifespan and are responsible for deteriorating your physical and mental health. Not only is dealing with health concerns expensive, divorce averages $15,000 and adds the expense of maintaining separate households.
If you are seeking premarital education or couples therapy and you are unsure of the financial commitment, feel free to give me a call anyway. I can provide referrals to other therapists in the area who accept insurance. And, depending upon your current need, we can discuss other resources such as workshops and books that may be helpful as you decide your readiness for premarital education or couples therapy.
What if I still want to see you, but can't afford your fees?
I reserve a small number of spots in my practice for members of the Open Path Psychotherapy Collective. Open Path is a collective of therapists who have agreed to provide lower fee services ($30-$80 per session).
As a client you can become a lifetime member of Open Path for a one-time fee of $49 – which will more than pay for itself after your first session. Becoming a member gives you lifetime access to all the therapists who are part of Open Path. To find out more or to become a member, click here.
Open Path is a program for clients in need who cannot otherwise afford to seek therapy services. I ask that you not take advantage of this program if you are able to afford the current market rates for therapy services.
My Open Path rates are $80 for a 60 minute couples therapy or premarital counseling session. (There will also be a $30 assessment fee during intake sessions for premarital counseling and couples therapy.)
Check to see if I am accepting new Open Path clients here. Please note that I offer a limited number of Open Path spots in my practice. I will keep my profile updated to reflect my availability. If I do not have spots available, I have referrals for many other trusted colleagues who are members of Open Path and offer couples therapy services.
How long will it take?
Premarital Counseling has a set number of sessions. The Premarital Education packages offered here at AVL Couples Therapy consist of 4-8 sessions.
For Couples Therapy, it’s not as precise. You are probably anticipating the answer “it depends” – and you would be correct. It is impossible to predict the total number of sessions needed, as each couple is unique and the number of sessions will vary.
Some couples will attend as few as 12 sessions, while other couples may attend for 6 months to 1 year to achieve the changes needed to maintain lasting relationship satisfaction.
If you are interested in attending Couples Therapy, please be prepared to commit to the therapy process. It has been found that couples will receive the most benefit and experience the most positive growth between the 7th and the 10th sessions. However, most couples drop out of therapy before even reaching the 6th session. So, give therapy a chance to work and make a commitment to attend a minimum of 8 to 10 sessions – with a 6 month commitment being ideal.
Furthermore, some couples will complete their initial run of sessions and go on their way. Others will stay connected with me and schedule occasional refresher sessions or check-ins to ensure that they are maintaining the positive growth they worked so hard to achieve.
We’ve tried couples therapy before. How are you different?
My approach to couples therapy is more organized than most and utilizes the Gottman Method – a structured, scientifically-based therapy rooted in over 40 years of research.
I also complete a very thorough assessment when we begin our work together, as part of the Gottman Method. This assessment phase allows me to understand the unique strengths and needs of your specific relationship from the start of our work together, eliminating any guesswork and wasted time on your part.
When you work with me you are investing in a therapist who has specific training and education in intimate partner relationships. I only see a limited number of clients in my practice so you can expect to receive the utmost care and consideration in regards to your relationship needs.
Seeing a carefully selected number of clients allows me to devote time to understanding your specific relationship outside of our sessions together. I will have ample time to review notes, tailor my approaches and interventions to your specific needs, and keep up to date on the latest developments in the field so that you are receiving state-of-the-art treatment.
Couples therapy sessions are 60 – 90 minutes, allowing time for deep and meaningful relationship work to take place. I do not book clients back-to-back so you will receive the attention that you deserve and you will not experience the sense of being rushed.
What is the Gottman Method?
Gottman Method Couples Therapy is a researched-based model of therapy that combines the knowledge and wisdom of over 40 years of studies and clinical practice.
It is a structured, goal-oriented, and scientifically-based therapy. The interventions utilized during therapy are based upon the empirical data garnered from the studies of over 3,000 couples.
Dr. John Gottman’s research provides therapists with the knowledge of what actually works to aid couples in achieving healthy, long-term relationships.
If you’re curious about the research and findings that inform this approach to therapy, set aside 45 minutes and check out this video of Dr. John Gottman…
Do you see same-sex couples? Are you an affirmative therapist?
Absolutely! Affirmative therapy is an approach that encourages clients to accept their sexual orientation and does not attempt to change who they are. An affirmative therapist will embrace a positive view of lesbian, gay, bisexual, transgender, queer, intersex, and asexual (LGBTQIA) identities and relationships and will address the negative influences that homophobia, transphobia, and heterosexism have on the lives of clients. As an affirmative therapist, I strive to provide a welcoming and safe space for all sexual orientations and genders where there is not only acceptance, but also appreciation.
What are your qualifications?
Where can I find relationship resources?
If you are looking for books and games to strengthen your relationship, head on over to the AVL Couples Therapy Resources page. Here you can find books on several different topics, as well as fun games for couples. There’s also links to blogs, podcasts, and much more.
Check out the Unearth Your Passion Relationship Blog. Here I write about common relationship issues, share tips on overcoming difficulties, and post fun weekend activities to participate in with your partner.
You can subscribe to the Unearth Your Passion Newsletter here. By joining you will receive a quarterly newsletter delivered directly to your inbox with the latest blog posts featuring valuable information, including tools and activities that lead to healthy, thriving relationships. During select months the newsletter will feature drawings and giveaways with the opportunity for you to win some very hip swag.
Additionally, valuable information, articles, and videos are shared on the AVL Couples Therapy social media pages. Give them a follow to have meaningful relationship inspiration in your newsfeed. Facebook – Twitter – Instagram – Pinterest