Weekend Activity: How Well Do You Really Know Your Partner?
How many of you remember the old trick that your date may have played on you where they close their eyes, then ask you what color their eyes are? Well, hopefully you know the color of your partner’s eyes by now. But how much more do you know about your partner? (On a side note: I mentioned this post to a recently married friend who admittedly does not know the color of her partner’s eyes. Eek!)
Chances are you have been somewhere with your partner, they ask you to answer a question about them, and your answer is “I don’t know.” Then you think to yourself “how do I not know that?” Depending on how long you have known your partner, the ‘I don’t know’ answer can get quite embarrassing sometimes. Imagine being with someone for 10 years and not knowing their favorite color, or whether or not they like the disgusting taste of olives (sorry, my own personal bias is sneaking in)!
So, this weekend, find time to sit down with your partner – whether over dinner or snuggled on the couch – to get to know them better. Think about what you want to ask and write it down. You don’t have to have a long list of questions. Just pick a few.
The activity is much more beneficial if your partner provides an explanation of the answer and the two of you have a discussion about it. For example, we can expound on the very basic question of your partner’s favorite color: Has this always been your favorite color? When and how did you decide this color was your favorite? What is your favorite shade of this color – light or dark? Can you show me the color on something around us right now?
This is how I would answer the color question:
It was probably pink or purple when I was a little girl, because everything that was made for little girls had the same color palette, so I just went with it.
Then as I entered high school, black was my favorite color. Maybe it was because I was trying to be cool, mysterious, and badass, or maybe it was because our school mascot was the Black Knight and black was our main school color.
Then there was a period of time where I don’t recall having a favorite color.
In my late 20’s I remember being asked, after a long hiatus of this question, what my favorite color was. I answered, “I like ALL the colors.” And it has been that way ever since. We need all the colors in order to make each one stand out.
However, as of late, I’ve really been drawn to this beautiful blue/green color. Shh! Don’t tell the others.
See how carried away I got with such a simple question? Doesn’t this tell you more about who I am as a person than if I would have answered the question with a single word: blue? Imagine what you can learn about your partner with a question that actually contains some substance!
Not sure what questions to ask? Here’s a list to get you started:
- What is your favorite color?
- What did you want to be when you were growing up?
- What would be your dream sandwich?
- If you could be an animal, what would you be?
- What would you do with a million dollars?
- How do you feel about clowns?
- Where have you always wanted to travel?
- What did you learn about relationships from your parents?
- What do you want to do when you retire?
- What’s the happiest you ever felt?
- What’s a question you’ve been hesitant to ask me?
- What’s your greatest accomplishment in life?
- What is your worst memory?
- How can I be a better partner to you?
- Do you think of yourself as an introvert or extrovert?
- What is your favorite memory of us?
- Would you like to be famous?
- Do you have a favorite, lucky number?
- Have you ever cheated in a relationship?
- What would your prefect day look like?
- Given the choice of anyone in the world, whom would you want as a dinner guest?
- What’s something you’ve dreamt of doing, but haven’t done yet, and what has stopped you?
- If a crystal ball could tell you the truth about yourself, your life, the future, or anything else, what would you want to know?
pdf version: Get To Know Your Partner
There are a few different ways that singles can benefit from this activity centered on questions. You can ponder on the question “How well do you know yourself?” Maybe you have not answered some of these questions for yourself, must less someone else.
Pick a few questions from the list that you have not thought about, and answer them as a way of getting to know the person you are a little better. The better you know yourself, the healthier your relationships with others are.
Also, you can answer the questions in the way that you would desire a partner to answer them. For example, imagine you are someone who dresses up as a clown for children’s birthday parties; therefore, you probably want a partner who answers “no” to the question “Are you afraid of clowns?” Or, for a very interesting relationship, someone who answers, “Yes, I’m extremely afraid of clowns!”
For those of you who want to make a regular activity out of getting to know your partner better (which I highly recommend), there are products out there that will prove beneficial.
One of which is the conversation starters that go by the name of TableTopics. They consist of small square cards, housed inside a cube, that have prompts on them.
I have the original set and find that they are great to use with your partner, or when you have guests over for dinner and want to spark up an interesting conversation. They now have different editions of cards, including one specifically for couples! Interested? Order them from the Resources page.
Stay tuned for a new article on Monday…
and check back next Thursday for another Weekend Activity!