Weekend Activity: Write Your Partner An Old-Fashioned Love Letter

by Feb 18, 2016Couples and Marriage, Relationships, Singles, Weekend Activity0 comments

When is the last time you wrote something and gave it to your partner? And I’m talking about something more meaningful than a grocery list, and something other than signing off on a pre-written birthday or anniversary card!

Can’t remember? Well, it’s time to change that.

Letter writing has become a long-lost art form. With the advent of telephones, email, and texting, writing a letter doesn’t seem very efficient these days. There are so many other options to get our message across much more quickly. So quick, in fact, we do not have the time to type out entire words – must less write them. “You” has become “u”, “are” has become “r”, and “people” have become “ppl.”

Now is your chance to take back this long-lost art form and use it as a tool to strengthen your relationship with your partner.

People (or ppl, ugh) express themselves differently. Some are really great with the spoken word, while others are masters at communicating by putting pen to paper.

You probably know someone who can speak to a room full of people for days, yet cannot write a coherent email. On the other hand, there are those of us (myself included) that have a difficult time expressing ourselves coherently when speaking, but can write beautiful pages on the same topic we have difficulty speaking to.

No matter your skill level at writing, this activity is not about how well you write. It’s about expressing yourself to your partner in a new way.

If you are someone who is a better speaker, take out your smartphone, turn on the voice recorder, and speak to it. Listen back to the recording and put some of your phrases into writing.

Writing can be very powerful and it gives you time to think about what you want to express and decreases the likelihood that you will be misunderstood.

Be sure to read your letter aloud to yourself first, so that you can experience how it will sound to your partner. Want an extra boost of connection to your partner? Read your letter aloud to them!

Don’t know what to write about in your letter? Here are some prompts to get you started:

  • Admiration. Something that you admire about your partner. This may seem simple, but try to think of something that you admire about your partner that you haven’t already told them a gazillion times! It can be a static quality such as their generosity, or it can be a specific example of this quality that you have witnessed. Maybe you caught them taking some of your excess garden vegetables over to an elderly neighbor, or you recall the way they rushed out of your second date only to find out later it was because their best friend was going through a crisis.
  • Appreciation. We often say “thank you” several times to our partners throughout the day (if not, that’s something to think about). But taking time to write out a thank you can really make it stand out and have meaning. What is it that your partner does that you are most thankful for? Do they prepare you dinner when you have a late day at the office, or grab take-out when you don’t feel like cooking? Are they supportive of your life’s work, even when it takes up quality time together? If so, tell them – in a letter!
  • Congratulations. Maybe your partner just got a new job or received a promotion. Or maybe they just graduated or obtained a certification. I’m sure you have congratulated them for this already (if not, there may be trouble a-brewin’ in your relationship). Anyway, writing a letter not only to congratulate them, but to also acknowledge how this accomplishment has been beneficial to you two as a couple, can help to bring something that was a “ME” event into something that is a “WE” event.
  • Dreams. Just write about the dreams you have for your relationship with this special person. How have they helped you to achieve your dreams in the past? And what type of future do you imagine for the two of you? What will your life look like in 5 years? Ten years? What dreams will the two of you have achieved by then?
  • Apologize. Think back over the past few days, weeks, or months. Is there something that you would like to apologize to your partner for? Did the two of you get into a tiff and you wish you had reacted to the situation in a different way? Take this time to write to your partner detailing how you wish the exchange had occurred instead and what you could have done differently to promote a better outcome. In arguments there is usually something that both parties could do differently. Relationships are systemic and we tend play off of each other whether we are aware of it or not. If you feel that your partner had a hand in the tiff as well, don’t blame, but include a statement in your letter about what you needed from them at the time.


Singles Edition:

For singles, this is an awesome activity to practice the art of manifestation. If you are single and are ready to attract a compatible partner that meets your needs, you can write a letter to this future person. Write in it what you appreciate and admire about them, and the dreams you have for the future. Read it aloud and send it out into the universe. You may be surprised by what comes back!


Activity Expansion:

You can also use this technique with other family members and friends to congratulate, appreciate, admire, or even apologize.

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