Welcome to Unearth Your Passion: A Relationship Blog
Happy Friday everyone! Here’s a warm welcome to 2016 and to AVL Couples Therapy, a new website featuring the Unearth Your Passion relationship blog.
This blog will be dedicated to helping you in all things relationships. Whether you are unhappy in your current relationship, looking to maintain your strong connection and friendship to your partner, or are newly single from a devastating breakup, this is the place for you.
How It Works
Within this post I want to take the opportunity to introduce the site and what it is all about. Presently the site has four pages: Home, Unearth Your Passion, About Me, and Resources.
The Unearth Your Passion page hosts the blog and will be the hub of all activity. Each week I will be writing and publishing posts here for you to discover. I will feature a wide array of topics that will be of interest those of you who are both partnered and single, whether happily or unhappily.
There will be featured guests writing about their takes on relationship issues as they relate to their specialty and field of study. Keep an eye out for the Weekend Activity posts, which will feature an activity that you can do to strengthen your relationship with your partner, strengthen your relationship with yourself, or attract your ideal partner.
What Does It Mean?
You may be wondering how the phrase Unearth Your Passion came to be…
When we unearth, we are discovering something that has been lost. Much too often the love we have for our partner can become hidden under sadness, mistakes, rejection, and misunderstanding.
I’m here to help you re-discover the love you have for your partner so that your relationship can be strengthened and last a lifetime. For those of you who are single, I’m here to help you unearth your true self so that you can live authentically. Through this authenticity, when you are ready, you will be in a position to attract a partner that brings out your best self.
When we are passionate, we have an intense desire or enthusiasm for something. Imagine having enthusiasm about your relationship with your partner. Imagine having the desire to be your optimal self. This passion can propel us to make the best out of the relationships we have with ourselves and the relationships we have with others.
New Year Activity
Here’s a little taste of what the weekend activities will look like here at AVL Couples Therapy. Since it is a new year, let’s start with an activity that will set your intentions for the year, as well as honor the good times in your relationship. For this activity you will need:
- 2 large glass jars with lids
- various scraps of paper
Good Times Jar
The first jar will be used to honor all the good times you have with your partner this year. Each time something special happens in your relationship – write it on a slip of paper, date it, fold it, and put it in the jar.
Write what you are grateful for in your relationship. For example, “I’m thankful that I have a partner who cares for me when I’m sick. Thank you for making me soup when I didn’t feel well this weekend.”
Write something to make your partner smile. For example, “I found myself staring at you more than usual at dinner tonight. You are just as beautiful as you were when I first met you 10 years ago.”
Write something you want to remember. For example, “I always want to remember this night – the night we laughed until we cried – over something as silly as a llama video.”
Relationship Goals Jar
The second jar will be used to aid you in consciously improving your relationship. Write down what your intentions are for this year as they relate to your relationship and what you are going to do to show your intentions to your partner.
Although it is meant for you to set your intentions at the beginning of the year, you can add to the jar throughout the year if you have a realization of how you can improve your relationship.
To get an idea of what to write, think of the ways that you contribute to some of the distress in your relationship.
I know that it can be very difficult for us to admit our faults or shortcomings, but there is bound to be something that you can change or alter in the way that you interact with your partner that will result in a more desirable relationship.
These intentions can be big or small.
You may write that you want to spend less screen time, and plan to show this to your partner by leaving your phone at home when you two go out to dinner.
Oh, you’re scared, you say? Sorry. I didn’t mean to cause you distress with this example. If you are someone who can’t bear to leave your phone, at least commit to leaving it in the car or turning it on silent without checking it during dinner.
A big intention may be that you commit to getting help for an alcohol or drug problem that your partner has expressed concern over.
The above example can be life-changing for the relationship, but don’t feel that you have to ‘go big or go home’ with this exercise. It’s actually the little things that make the biggest impact.
For example, you may commit to going to at least three of the local baseball games with your partner this Summer. You don’t really like sports, but you have actually never agreed to go to a game in the five years you two have been together. Who knows, you may really enjoy the cheese fries, participating in activities between innings, and catching a freebie from the t-shirt cannon.
Opening The Jars
So when 2017 rolls around, set aside a time to open the jars and review their contents. You may want to open the jars on different days, since there is so much to go over.
Here’s a tip: you may want to open the Relationship Goals Jar first because it could give rise to more difficult discussions, while the Good Times Jar ends on a good note.
When you open the Relationship Goals Jar, go easy on your partner, especially if they did not quite meet the expectations they set out for themselves. Try to recall some of they ways they have contributed to the success of the relationship over the past year and let them know.
After seeing what your partner wanted to work on, maybe you two can work together to come up with a game plan for the following year and outline some of the steps you two need to take to meet some of the relationship goals that were unmet the previous year.
When you open the Good Times Jar, be ready for your relationship with your partner to grow and strengthen. This is an especially good time to begin a ritual with your partner. (There will be a future article about the importance of rituals in a relationship).
For now, just set aside a special place and time to open the jar. This can be after a romantic dinner or in between a pizza delivery and Netflix. Maybe you pop a bottle of champagne and eat chocolate or hike to the top of a mountain with wine and cheese in tow. Whatever you decide, keep to the tradition. Now you have a ritual in your relationship.
and a new Weekend Activity on Thursday.